An Ode To My Sister: Ugly Is The New Pretty

So I guess this will be one of those self-reflecting blogs. . .

I have a 10 year old sister that is going through puberty as of right now. She starting to adjust to her now growing body and dealing with the 'motions that come with this experience. I am 19 years old and I think for the most part I am done with puberty but watching my sister go through it scares me. Most people would ask why is it scary? It is scary because there is a part of me that wishes that she doesn't have to go through it and another part of me is scared of her growing up. I feel that with my sister growing up in today's society alot of the images that she sees on a daily basis can become problematic for her.

When I look back on growing up I realized I had a lot of issues about myself since I was about her age. Either dealing with self esteem issues or doing horrible in math there was always a problem. Til this day I still struggle with these issues because like with every woman being completely comfortable with your skin is always one of the hardest things to have a grasp of. And it was never made easier for me when I was growing up when people would see me with my mom and ask me if that was my aunt. I would then reply that it was my mom and the funny stares I would get were sort of ridiculous. Yes my mother is light skin, but my father is also dark skin hence to why my skintone would not resemble that of my mother's. Or even having to deal with people ask me why my eyes are big or why am I always in and out of surgery or an orthodontist office.

Especially the damn orthodontist visits and surgeries, when you are told for a good portion of your life that is something is wrong with you or something isn't right about you it's never a good feeling. Believe me I know, because sometimes it puts me in a place liek why do I need this done or that done, when will I look "normal", when will I look "perfect", but most importantly when will I look like everybody else? And as I get older I start to question what is normality, what is perfection, and why is there a need to be like everybody else. WHY? I don't even know if I can answer that question and still come up with an answer that makes sense because when you think about it the world doesn't make sense.

Sometimes I don't think a lot of people realize what they do when they nitpick or moms who take their kids into beauty paegants and have them dolled up in an artifical manner. They kill a child's psyche and warp their sense of who they are and what "beauty" means. And if life can't get any TOUGHER, puberty comes and boys get involved, then there is this aspect of trying to get the opposite sex to like you. Its funny what sometimes we go through to just to get that little bit of recognition. I can't say I feel like I have reached that part of my life because I still have my own issues to deal with and that is as to why I try to take things one day at a time. Life isn't easy so I try my hardest to surround myself with positive people and things to get my mind right.

Like I said I am not perfect and I still struggle with my own issues, but now I have a sister that is going through the process of womanhood. I worry about her everyday because she is my mini-me but I want to make all the mistakes so she doesn't have to, I want to protect her from the world but I can't. All I can do is guide her, but even sometimes I don't know how I will guide her because I am not even sure of myself. But one day it all hit me like a ton of bricks I don't have to know how to guide her, but I should take the journey with her. It's never too late to learn something and by watching her grow up I realized UGLY IS THE NEW PRETTY. When I say that it basically shows her that you are beautiful no matter what even if you don't fit the status quo of beauty. The only way you can truly be happy is if you realize the most vitale thing: Don't go around trying to PLEASE the WORLD,PLEASE YOURSELF.

This is an ode to my baby sis, I might fight with you but know that I love you and I'm here.

N.Y.Adams



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